I hit a milestone last night.
Well, several things happened, including working out. I'll start with the workout piece, then I'll explain the rest.
Last night, after about 30min of working out, I think I hit my "euphoric" moment. Omg. I could've worked out for five more hours if I wanted to, or at least it felt that way. I'm so glad I was in the middle of cardio because I started going and didn't stop until I finished strong and it was AMAZING!
Also, yesterday, when I was walking pass the mirror, I noticed that I'm seeing definition in my sides and stomach! I mean, it's probably something that only I can notice, but DAMN I'm excited!
Now, for the rest...
I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but I had a religious experience last night on the way to the gym. It was something that hadn't really felt before. I honestly thought I was about to stroke out or something. Nah, it wasn't like those crazy old ladies in church you see rockin' in the pews or rolling around the floor because they have the spirit of Jesus in them. It was just a feeling of calmness. A feeling that made me think about everything I've done in my life so far, right and wrong, and make me feel like I want to have a some sort of relationship with God....well, more than I do now.
I don't want anyone to make fun of what I felt, the way I'm feeling, or my lack of knowledge as to what comes next. I feel like I'm suppose to do something now, but I have no idea what.
Comments, suggestions, anything... comment here or DM/@reply me on http://twitter.com/Lucus
This is an extremely long post I know, I just started thinking, and it finally came out. I would apprecaite if you start reading this post, that you read it all, and comment if you have any thoughts about it. -L!
Part of my problem, I've realized, is.... I'm not a fan of sweets, candy, alcohol, or anything necessarily bad for me. Granted, I'm not going to lie, I enjoy those things, but I definitely do not partake in any of them on any sort of regular basis at all(alcohol included). What my problem really is, I love food. Good food. Not even fast food. Where the issue comes in is portion sizes. I love to eat until I cannot possibly eat anymore. If it tastes good, then why should I stop?
Breaking soft drinks was one of my hardest things ever, but in 5 days, I will have gone six consecutive months without even sipping a softdrink(Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Serria Mist, Dr. Pepper, Sunkist, Cherry Coke, Cherry Pepsi, or any of the rest of the tasty family that is a part of the Pepsi or Coke franchise.) Water has become my new favortite...along with sweet tea. I'm trying really hard to not consume as much sweet tea as what I did when I first stopped drinking soft drinks and my efforts are working. I'm not going to lie, I sometimes really miss the taste of a Pepsi or Coke with dinner, lunch, or hell, even breakfast, but I know I can't go back to them. My complexion has cleared up more than I knew was possible, and gets better by the day when I drink water. All those people who tell you soda has nothing to do with pimples, they're liars. It does have a significant effect. I'm proof. It happened to me.
Giving up fast food really wasn't that hard. I haven't actually even given it up, to be completely honest. I have cut out 98% of the unhealthy fast food that I was consuming. Every place has some sort of healthy option, but I don't even really go for that, I go for better fast food. Subway, Chick-Fil-A(grilled chicken salad and wraps are SO amazing), any sort of sandwich shop(ordering healthy stuff), are a few of my new options.
As for the gym. As I see it, there's 24 hours in one day, correct? 45min to an hour of workout does not consume THAT much time. Fitting it into a "flexible" work schedule without me being tired before/after work has been my problem. I've just been doing it, taking "power naps" and trying to find that balance. At this point, the gym is my final piece of this puzzle. It's not even that difficult either.
I can feel myself changing. My attitude, my body, and my life are all getting better.
For my "fitness" aspect, all the puzzle pieces are fitting together, now it's time to get that glue that you use to hold your puzzle together and keep it that way forever.
As for the personal aspect of my life. I'm going through a lot. I mean, a LOT. That's why I got off track a few weeks ago. I felt like my life was falling apart. It's not though. I'm on this emotional rollercoaster, but I'm realizing that none of this is my fault. It's not. Let the rain fall down. I've got a strong ass umbrella, I've got a huge rain coat, and some pretty high boots to wade through this water. All I need in my life is my family, friends, and my puppy. :-) I've been reconnecting with old friends, meeting new friends, and what I've come to realize is, I have so many people who love and care about me, there's no reason to be sad. It is what it is. Things happen. I'm beginning to feel that feeling that I didn't realize I had lost. It's that feeling of excitement, happiness, love, feeling as if I belong. That feeling that I'm no longer an outcast from my friends. It wasn't them, it was me. Actually, it wasn't even me, but I allowed it to happen. These people have been with me for so long and are still standing by my side through the rain. Since my first day of school when I was 5, my first day of middle school, my first day of high school, first day of college, my first day I rode the bus, my first day of work, and so many other moments in my life that I'll never forget and that I'm reminded of every time I'm with them.
I didn't realize that what I needed the most was right here all along.
I'm going to be alright.
I am.
I know it.
I tweeted the other night that I never really realized what it meant when people said, "It takes a village to raise a child." I know now. Thank you.
I love you all.
Some life changing things are happening.
I can't wait to explain everything here. All the why's and amazing things that are happenings to me.
First off, I have an update on my fitness... I've been going to the gym everyday for the past week. I know that you're suppose to take a day off between work outs, but I can't seem to. I feel like if I get into the habit, I'm going to really get "it" this time. I know I will. I must. I'm starting to see results, but more than that, I'm having others who don't know that I'm going to the gym and changing my lifestyle notice, which is the true test of results, in my opinion.
I'm in the process of a restructure on my site. I liked this layout for a while, but now, it's just getting SO dark, SO blah, and SO not me.
I'm fun.
I'm hot.
I'm Lucus.
So... get ready for a refresh very soon.
I'm hoping that I'll actually update it like I'm suppose to. lol.
Tomorrow I start back on my journey.
I've had so much going on and so much drama. I got off track. I started feeling sorry for myself. I started seeing results and I let it go.
Not this time.
I've made a promise to myself and I can't break it.
I have even more resources, more determination, and even more of a reason to win this fight I am in.
I'm going to start posting daily updates on my twitter, on here, and all I can think of to give me motivation and hold myself accountable for it.
