I thought I should possibly write something very insightful for my last post of 2008, but eh.... I really don't see the point.
I've had a lot of good things happen this year. I bought a house, I changed positions at work, I got reaccepted back to KSU, made a lot of new friends, and most importantly, I got a twitter account. ;-)
Looking back, there were a lot of things this year that weren't good, but I can't really remember any of them. I'm sure if I think hard enough, I can, but why make myself get all emo about it?
As for 2009, I don't really know what's next. I really hope I get to go back to school in January, I hope I continue to make great friends and build strong bonds with the ones I already have, I want to be stress-free, and most of all I just want to have fun.
It's like a new season of The Hills. You never know what's going to happen. Is Jason going to show back up? Will Heidi and Lauren become friends again? What ever happened to Trey, Christina, and Morgan from Laguna Beach? All I can say is...
Stay tuned...
Happy New Year!
I've been up since about 4:45 this morning. I can't sleep. I just started tossing and turning. Then, it happened.
I started thinking.
Everything started coming down on me all at once, and I couldn't stop my mind from all the stuff it was thinking about. I got extremely hot, short of breath, and had to get up before I went into a serious panic attack. I still can't stop thinking, worrying, wondering, and just getting angry about so many things. Why are you my biggest problem? I mean, really...
Why am I so upset?
I deserve to be happy.
Why won't you help me the way I help you? Why won't you listen when I try to talk to you? Why? I thought we were doing good for a while there, and now everything is completely different. If my chance goes by again and you don't help me, you and I are through. I'm done with you. I'm done with your excuses, lies, games, and manipulation. I'm doing EVERYTHING on my own with absolutely no help and you sit back and act like you are somehow responsible for what I've achieved.
Yeah, right.
I love you, but I don't have to force myself to like you. I don't have to submit myself to being around you nor do I have to even be cordial to you anymore.
I've begged and pleaded with you for change and all you've given me is false hope.
I really hope you're happy with what you've done.
I talked to Brandi tonight for the first time in...SO long. Gah, I miss her so much. She made me so sad when I talked to her at first. She was SO homesick, but not for Cartersville, for NC. She's lived there for what seems like forever, but it's only been three years and now she misses it more than she does Cartersville. I miss her so much. She and I always had the best time when we were together and when she left, it killed me.
I seriously stood outside the restaurant we were all at and cried my eyes out hugging her and telling her how much I'd miss her.
I have.
I still do.
Why do all of my friends end up going away and leaving me?
She's not coming home for Christmas this year, which kind of cements the fact that she's moving on with her life. I mean, I understand the circumstances, but I was just really hoping to see her over the holidays. I always get to see my friends over the holidays and it always makes me feel like old times, but this year I'm not going to get to see many of them at all.
I'm kind of depressed.
Kind of really depressed.
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say?
All Good Things Come To An End - Nelly Furtado
What would best describe your personality?
Song 4 Lovers - Liberty X
What do you like in a guy/girl?
Reasons - Ryan Cabrera
What is your life’s purpose?
I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
What is your motto?
Beautiful Distractions - Josh Hoge
What do your friends think of you?
Love Today - Mika
What do you think about very often?
Beat It - Michael Jackson
What is two plus two?
My BFF - Paris Hilton
What do you think of your best friend?
Still Breathing - Stars Hide Fire
What do you think of the person you like?
867-5309/Jenny - Tommy Tutone
What is your life story?
I Will Remember You - Ryan Cabrera
What will you be when you grow up?
Love Like This - Natasha Beddingfield
What do you think when you see the person you like?
Bouncing Off The Ceiling - A*Teens
What do your parents think of you?
In The End - Linkin Park
What will you dance to at your wedding?
Photo - Ryan Cabrera
What will they play at your funeral?
How Do I Feel(The Burrito Song) - Hoku
What is your hobby/interest?
America's Next Top Model Theme Song
What do you think of your friends?
Every Other Time - LFO
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
The Hardest Thing - 98 Degrees
How will you die?
Confessions of a Broken Heart - Lindsay Lohan
What is the one thing you regret?
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic At The Disco
What makes you laugh?
Radar - Britney Spears
What makes you cry?
What Hurts The Most - Jo Omeara
Will you ever get married?
Yeah - Kelly Clarkson
What scares you the most?
Do It - Nelly Furtado
Does anyone like you?
Way Away - Yellowcard
If you could go back in time, what would you change?
How To Save A Life - The Frey
What hurts right now?
Everything's Right - Matt Wertz
What will you post this as?
Who Cares - Ashley Parker Angel
I'm getting so sleepy. I took two nyquil a little bit ago, and my vision is getting blurry.
Yeah, I'm laying in bed.
I'm so sleepy.
I still haven't put up my tree yet. :-( I'm going to tomorrow when I get off work. Chris better help. Saturday morning, I'm going to go finish my Christmas shopping. I can't wait to be done with it. I have my mom, step dad, dad, sister, and grandma. Oh, and I'm totally buying my aunt a Nettie Pot. Yeah, she's been asking for one and I'm going to do it, just for the hell of it. lol. I think I have a few things in mind that I'm going to tell my mom I want.
There's these Nike headphones I'm about to put out at work. They're freaking hot. Plus, they're specially designed for working out, so they won't fall out/off your ear. What were the other things? Hmmm... I can't remember now. Damn it. I've got to remember and write this stuff down or I'll never be able to complete my list. lol
I can't type anymore. I'm nodding off as I'm typing this.
I'm blogging from bed. I just finished my dinner(some amazing chili-from the can, with added extras), and I'm watching Charm School with Sharon O. I'm getting really tired from all I've done today.
All day today I've been at my mom's old house getting all my remaining belongings/childhood heirlooms, packing them, and bringing them to my house. I'm very satisfied with all that I brought home tonight. I, however, am not that sure where I'm putting any of the stuff I have brought in. lol. I'm sure I'll find a nice place to stack it in the basement. At least I have a lot of large plastic containers to "contain" all of my things in. lol
I must sleep. More later.
It's 1 December, 2008. Let's start the Christmas music, right......NOW! Oh wow. I love this time of the year! I always get let down at Christmas, people are always rude, and I always just end up sulking by Christmas day...it won't happen this year though. I'm ready. I'm putting up my tree on Wednesday, burning a Christmas cd right now, and brushing off all the other Christmas cds I can find to load in my cd player in my car.
I don't care about presents. All I want is family, friends, food, and fun. Seriously. I mean, if anyone wants to get me something, that's cool too, but I'm not stressing out about this again this year. I am thinking that I might have some sort of Christmas party at my place, but idk. Who knows with my family and friends, but I'm just really happy that I'm in better spirits than I was last night. I don't know why, but I just realized that something is going to have to change. My stress levels have been higher than ever, and I'm really not joking about it. It's just ridiculous to think that I am this upset over the holidays. I'm done with it.
I have work later, and I'm glad I'm in better spirits or this night would go SO slow! I may post from work or later, who knows.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to sleep this afternoon.
I'm sitting here at 12:30a, not sleepy, wondering what I should do. Chris is watching some show on the Speed network, and I'm bored. Bored, bored. Hmm... This is one of those times where I feel like randomly calling friends and waking them up to say, "Hey, what are you doing?" lol
Today was pretty great-after I got off work, at least.
You know how people say, "Oh, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but..." Yeah, you are. "Oh, I'm not being mean, but..." Yeah, you are. "Oh, this has nothing to do with your performance today, but..." Um, YEAH, it does. Whatever, jackass.
After work today, I came in, slept a while with Chris, and went to dinner after we woke up. Oh Panda Express, how I love thee. I also stopped by Super Target in Hiram to pay off my card and buy a Christmas gift for my mom that she's giving to my brother. Yeah, I'm doing her Christmas shopping, but I don't care. I wonder if my brother buys Christmas gifts for my mom to give to me? Hm... I doubt it. I wonder if he'd even know what to buy for me? I picked this out all on my own. I saw it and thought, "Seth would really like that."
I doubt anyone in my family or any of my friends just see things and think, "Wow, Lucus would really like that." Well, they might, but never act upon it and buy it.
I'm not asking to be showered with presents. I'd just like to know that some one thinks about me and cares about me enough to want to get me something. I don't care if it's a flippin $0.25 piece of chocolate. It's just nice to be thought about.
I'm still having trouble figuring out what to buy everyone for Christmas. I have even fewer people to buy for this year, but it seems like I'm finding it harder to figure out what to get. Hmmm. Oh well. I'll figure something out. I hope. If not, they're all getting gift cards to the bullseye. lol.
