::yeah, it's Lucus(dot)com::

We bought groceries today and unloading them and putting them in their new places in my kitchen, wow.  I just can't even describe what it feels like.  It's the little things that count.  I feel so grown up, mature, and just like I'm finally on my own for real.  

I use that term very loosely, so forgive me.  I might have washed some clothes, folded some, and shuffled a few items around this house, but nothing is even close to being in a box, in the trash, or out the door.

I had such good intentions.  

I really did.  

As always, they were put on the back burner to do other things.  I mean, I got a lot accomplished.  Two bathrooms are now fully furnished and I have some amazing stuff for the living room and kitchen, but nothing is ready to go into my new home.

Wednesday will be the day.  Just you wait.  It has to be actually, or I'm screwed.  I close on the house on Thursday and work the rest of the week until next Wednesday.  I want to paint and clean Saturday and Sunday then have most of my stuff moved on Monday and Wednesday of next week to be completely moved and living in my new house the following weekend(25 April, for anyone keeping up here, because I'm obviously not).  I'm also keeping Dillion and Karla that weekend and it would be great to have them stay with me at the new house.  I think they'd really enjoy it.  

I've washed some clothes today, not really done much else except have a visit with my home owner's insurance guy, my mortgage broker, and wandered around a few stores today.  Could anyone PLEASE tell me where the hell I could find a sofa and love seat covers for less than $50, that match, and are neutral colors?  I can find everything else, it's just those that I'm having a horrible problem with.  I'm not buying from Target(89.99) nor am I going to settle for something that I really just don't like.  It's ridiculous.  I need a resolution.  There's just so much confusion.

You caught that, right?

I think I have finished everything that is needed for us to close, which is great, so I am just waiting on Thursday to come to get the keys to my house.  Not that I'll actually use those keys because I will be changing the locks immediately upon entering my house, but it'll be nice to just have them.  I have to buy like, five new dead bolts, door knobs, etc.  SO worth it though.  

I need to get ready for work.  Ugh, that bitch is going to be there tonight.  Will she ever leave?  Gah, I hope so.

I'm about to go get my hair cut and I'm pissed.  I have been calling for damn near a week and couldn't get in touch with the actual woman who cuts my hair, just her assistant.  Granted, I understand that she is a very busy person and has many more people who she deals with aside from me, but I've been trying for a week to get my hair cut/colored.  I'm going today for only a cut.  I'm really pissed about this.  I have a HUGE presentation at a school tomorrow for work where there's a check being presented, pictures taken, etc.  Not only does my lip burn look like I have some sort of lip herpes or something, now my hair is going to be super fucked up.  If I could've talked to the woman who does my hair, I would've been able to explain the situation, she would've understood, and I would be getting both the cut and color done today at 1:30.

sigh

I'm so stressed and ready to get settled I can't handle it.  This sucks.

Crazy stuff.

Things I might have expected, but maybe not in the magnitude that they've actually happened.  Housing mess, friendship tests, and a lot of partying(that's still happening).  Friendships are being made, broken, just starting, and cementing themselves into people's lives that makes me realize that some people just might be in my life forever.  A lot of it is comforting, scary, and definitely makes for some interesting couple of weeks.  Much of these things feel as if they were coming straight out of a tv show.  A bunch of these scenes needed background music to accompany them.  

The move, the new/old friendships, the life stories revealed, and other drama all have made this completely surreal.  

I like it.  I'm glad that things are changing.  It's good for us all.  Change is good, drama isn't.  Sometimes you gotta deal with both in order to grow though.  

In other news, Chris and I watched "I Am Legend" last night.  WOAH.  I have never been more scared of something coming true in a movie than that.  Now, honestly, that is some scary shit.  Oh the real tip, yo.

More soon.  I'm getting better with this again.

I was thinking the other day about how different I am compared to years past.  I've matured so much.  I think that it all came from my real estate agent talking to me about an old friend of mine that maybe had a bit of an attitude problem back in the day.  The girl is still the same, just knows how to control herself and her outbursts.  I mean, I'm still the same person deep-down inside, but I just know how to control myself.  I was loud, obnoxious, a bitch, didn't care, and an overall different person completely(thinking about a specific time).  I'm so glad I've matured.  I've still got a long way to go, but I know that I'm on the right path.

As for the life overhaul, I just feel I need to make some changes.  The word complacent scares me.  Evolving should be a goal of everyone, young and old.  I'm ready to change my attitude about a lot of things, change my scenery(which I'm in the process of doing), and a few other things need a little bit of work in my life (small mind games and health issues).  I'm ready to tackle everything head on and be a better person.  

Long story short, I'm not exactly where I want to be in life, so I'm working on a personal life plan.  

More to come.  I'm sure.

I was just driving through Cartersville up 41 and I saw something.  While I was passing Wal-Mart, I saw a hearse coming from the hospital.  As it pulled out and merged in front of me, I could not take my eyes off it.  It didn't cut me off or anything, I just started thinking about how sad that vehicle made me feel.  I don't think I have ever felt as lonely as what I did driving from the hospital to Grassdale Road.  I don't ever want to feel as lonely as what I did.  The whole thing just overpowered me, and I kept thinking about how bad I felt for the person who was all alone throughout that.  

Maybe I'm just getting too caught up in it or thinking about my relatives and friends that have passed.  I don't know.  

I'm just really shaken and still can't compose myself from it.